My kids require the lions share of time and attention in our home. They need help and guidance from my husband and I. They are involved in two extra-curricular activities each, and unfortunately can’t drive. The Hubby and I are active volunteers for their school and chair several organizations within the school. On top of that, Hubby works 40+ hours a week and I take care of our home, daily affairs, Kinda Krafty LLC, and Wife & Mommy Life.
With all that we have going on, we make sure to time for Just Us. It isn’t always easy, in fact it’s very difficult to work time into the schedule where we have no activities and childcare. Hubby and I don’t allow ourselves to make excuses, or postpone. Alone time is a non-negotiable.
When I first became a mother, I felt so guilty leaving my kids to go out with my husband. I felt like that was time I could spend with them, teaching them, loving them, molding them. My Guy is pretty laid back so he would allow me to push date night farther and farther back, until one day we realized that it had been over a year since we had anytime just to ourselves.
Like anything you push off into a corner and neglect, our relationship was dusty and rusty. It wasn’t broken or dysfunctional, it just wasn’t cared for and well maintained. We found ourselves speaking to each other like we spoke to the kids. I would ask him things like, “Do you need to go potty before we leave?” Who wants to seduce anyone that asks “Do you need to potty”? I stopped dressing nicely, wearing make-up, and my daily uniform became yoga pants and T-shirts. It took my Mom, God Bless her, to look at me after a long day of running around with the kids and say “You look like shit, go do something with yourself”. I was shocked! How dare she? Did she know all of the things that I had accomplished that day? To still be standing was a feat in itself! But when I looked into the mirror, I saw what she saw and she was right.
That night, I told my husband that I felt I was losing a part of me. He admitted to feeling the same and insisted we do something about it. The next day, I made hair and nail appointments, and he made reservations and arranged a sitter for the weekend. We didn’t go far, a 2 hour trip was all. We had adult conversations, laughed, listened to music, it was like we were dating again. We stayed in a cute little hotel and went to dinner. That’s it! (Well we did other things, but I’m pretty sure my parents are reading this) But that little 48 hour get-a-way turned our lives around!
It’s easy to get so caught up in life that you forget to care for all of the important things in your life, including you and your relationships with your husband, friends, and family. Your kids will be okay, and honestly you’ll be a better Mommy when you’ve had some alone adult time.
Ladies, don’t let your silver sit on the shelf, unused. You have these beautiful pieces, take them out dust them, care for them. They won’t do you any good sitting on the shelf.